In my quest to find answers (even though doctors couldn't give me any explanation as to why my waters had broken early), i decided it was time for a pap smear - i was overdue for this, but figured it was something that needed to be done.
2 days after my smear i got a call from my doctor saying that they needed to talk to me.
My smear had shown high grade abnormalities and i was being referred to a gynae (not my normal gynae as he was away on holidays and this couldn't wait). I was given a punch biopsy. The gynae told me that things didn't look too bad and that he would contact me once he had the final results from pathology.
When he rang me personally i thought the worst, but he actually said that it was just pre-cancerous cells, but he was going to have to refer my to a gynae-oncologist as the suspect cells were quite high up in my cervix.
I got to see my gynae-onc pretty quickly and after having a look and reviewing my pathology results i was scheduled for a cone biopsy in July 2010.
The procedure went pretty smoothly and i had a follow up appointment a few weeks later. At this appointment i was advised that they had not managed to get clear margins, but not to be worried as the pathology confirmed that it was still just pre-cancerous cells, so i was scheduled for another cone biopsy in late August 2010.
This procedure went just as smoothly as the last and i left feeling pretty confident that things were now going to be ok. What floored me was when i went for my next follow up.
I was told that they still did not have clear margins and that i now should be considering having a hysterectomy. A what....my dream to have atleast a couple of children was shattered. Then my doc (didn't get to see my specialist for the follow up) advised that i may be a candidate for another procedure called a radical trachelectomy. I left that appointment in tears and still felt absolutely shattered. I was told to go home and have a good think about things and to call my specialist to discuss my options.
I so badly wanted another baby - so i rang my specialist to discuss the trachelectomy procedure. She advised that she was sending my pathology samples off to Melbourne for a second opinion. We scheduled an appointment with her for early October and she hoped to have enough information then to make a good assessment of what we needed to do.
My appointment came around and the result once again floored me - i had cancer!!!
Friday 15 October 2010
Monday 17 May 2010
The NICU rollercoaster
At 2.35am, our gorgeous daughter "Tiana" made her grand entrance & the rollercoaster began.
Tiana came out breathing and was doing really well - fantastically well for being born at 26 weeks & 3 days and weighing 900 grams.
I got to hold my little girl when after one day. She was ventilated for the first 12 hours or so, just to make sure there were no issues and was then placed onto cpap. She was jaundiced, but so far everything else was going well.
At just 10 days old, she was doing so well that she was taken off cpap and placed onto hi-flow - i guess this is when the honeymoon period ended and the real roller coaster began.
It didn't last too long and she was really struggling, so back onto cpap. It was found that she had a pda so she was given medication which luckily sorted this out pretty quickly. She had a bleed on the brain, although the paeds were not concerned about this at all. She then went on to require two blood transfusions and was pretty comfortable on cpap until she was 6 weeks old.
I turned up to visit her on 18th April and during the doctors rounds i was given the great news that they were going to be taking her off cpap again and onto hi-flow. I thought this day would never come. I spent most of the day with her and had an awesome long cuddle.
Later that night my phone rang (around 9pm'ish) and i noticed it was the hospital - my heart started pounding in my chest as i answered, thinking the worst, but alas - Tiana was doing so well on her hi-flow that they decided to move her out of the NICU & into the Special Care Nursery.
That was possibly the best phone call i received during our time in Hobart.
Once we were in special care, Tiana went from strength to strength. At around 1.9kg she was finally transferred to a hospital closer to home. This was the point where what i had been through over the last 8 weeks finally hit home. Walking into my house and seeing her bedroom all set up and waiting for her and not having her with me was one of the hardest things i have dealt with - i cried myself to sleep that night.
I spent as much time at the hospital as i could and it wasn't long before Tiana was taken off her oxygen completely & could spend time in a private room with me each day.
After a total of 43 days in nicu, 11 days in special care & 18 days in our regular hospital - a total of 72 days. Tiana was discharged, weighing just under 5 pound.
Then my quest for reasons for her prematurity began....
Tiana came out breathing and was doing really well - fantastically well for being born at 26 weeks & 3 days and weighing 900 grams.
I got to hold my little girl when after one day. She was ventilated for the first 12 hours or so, just to make sure there were no issues and was then placed onto cpap. She was jaundiced, but so far everything else was going well.
At just 10 days old, she was doing so well that she was taken off cpap and placed onto hi-flow - i guess this is when the honeymoon period ended and the real roller coaster began.
It didn't last too long and she was really struggling, so back onto cpap. It was found that she had a pda so she was given medication which luckily sorted this out pretty quickly. She had a bleed on the brain, although the paeds were not concerned about this at all. She then went on to require two blood transfusions and was pretty comfortable on cpap until she was 6 weeks old.
I turned up to visit her on 18th April and during the doctors rounds i was given the great news that they were going to be taking her off cpap again and onto hi-flow. I thought this day would never come. I spent most of the day with her and had an awesome long cuddle.
Later that night my phone rang (around 9pm'ish) and i noticed it was the hospital - my heart started pounding in my chest as i answered, thinking the worst, but alas - Tiana was doing so well on her hi-flow that they decided to move her out of the NICU & into the Special Care Nursery.
That was possibly the best phone call i received during our time in Hobart.
Once we were in special care, Tiana went from strength to strength. At around 1.9kg she was finally transferred to a hospital closer to home. This was the point where what i had been through over the last 8 weeks finally hit home. Walking into my house and seeing her bedroom all set up and waiting for her and not having her with me was one of the hardest things i have dealt with - i cried myself to sleep that night.
I spent as much time at the hospital as i could and it wasn't long before Tiana was taken off her oxygen completely & could spend time in a private room with me each day.
After a total of 43 days in nicu, 11 days in special care & 18 days in our regular hospital - a total of 72 days. Tiana was discharged, weighing just under 5 pound.
Then my quest for reasons for her prematurity began....
Saturday 6 March 2010
Shooting stars & hospitals
On 1st March 2010 when my waters had broken we made the mad dash to the nearest hospital. My hubby and I sat in silence, neither of us able to comprehend what was happening & both fully believing that our fairytale was over, yet not wanting to say it out loud as it would make it all that more real.
On our trip we saw a shooting star - i'm not usually one to put my faith in god so much, but i made the biggest wish of my life on that shooting star and from that moment i had hope - hope that the lord would help us through.
On arrival at hospital and being poked and prodded by a midwife and the ob on duty it was confirmed that my waters had completely ruptured, but my cervix was still fully closed and no signs of labour at this stage.
I was given my first steroid injection and the midwife on duty made sure that i was aware that at this stage of my pregnancy, although not ideal, things could still work out ok.
I was then popped into an ambulance and taken to the nearest airport for a flight to RHH (the nearest NICU) and then in another ambulance to the hospital. By this stage it was almost 2am and i was sick and tired of telling my story to every ambulance officer, nurse, ob, gynae, midwife etc. I just wanted them to LEAVE ME ALONE!!.
Tuesday morning a scan was arranged to double check that bub was doing ok and to check measurements. All was still going perfectly well, although no water!!
I had the paediatrican come and talk to me about statistics. I told him i was not interested in the odds & that i would cross each hurdle as it happened. At no stage did i want to look at the negatives - for my own sanity i refused to believe that anything could, or would go wrong.
I was on complete bedrest & on Wednesday when i hit 26 weeks i started to relax slightly (not sure why, but think it had something to do with my pregnancy book at home stating that babies born at this gestation would generally be ok).
We did a tour around the NICU to see other babies that were around the same size as our unborn baby, just to give us an idea of how she would look if she was born at this stage.
Friday rolled around with no hiccups, although i was having a fair bit of back pain - i had not been to the toilet all week, so it was put down to constipation pains and i was given some medications to help. My mum and cousin spent the day with me & they were leaving late that afternoon to head home and my husband was supposed to be coming down. I don't know why, but i sensed that something was wrong & that my back pain was not constipation after i had been to the toilet and the pain had not eased, although as the pain was irregular etc the midwives still did not believe it was anything to worry about.
My mum & cousin left late arvo and i cried and cried - i think mum cried most of the way home. My husband decided that he was exhausted and that he didn't feel safe driving, so stayed home and was going to come down early in the morning (a 3.5-4 hour trip).
So i was all on my own. My back pain continued to worsen and at 2am my midwife called the doctor to come and check me out. They had huge trouble finding the babies heartbeat, so decided to bring the portable ultrasound machine in to have a look what was happening - alas, they could hardly even find the baby! Next option was for an internal (last resort as this increases the risk of infection hugely) and guess what the doctor saw......
A head!!! So at approx 2.20am we were wheeled to the delivery suite.
On our trip we saw a shooting star - i'm not usually one to put my faith in god so much, but i made the biggest wish of my life on that shooting star and from that moment i had hope - hope that the lord would help us through.
On arrival at hospital and being poked and prodded by a midwife and the ob on duty it was confirmed that my waters had completely ruptured, but my cervix was still fully closed and no signs of labour at this stage.
I was given my first steroid injection and the midwife on duty made sure that i was aware that at this stage of my pregnancy, although not ideal, things could still work out ok.
I was then popped into an ambulance and taken to the nearest airport for a flight to RHH (the nearest NICU) and then in another ambulance to the hospital. By this stage it was almost 2am and i was sick and tired of telling my story to every ambulance officer, nurse, ob, gynae, midwife etc. I just wanted them to LEAVE ME ALONE!!.
Tuesday morning a scan was arranged to double check that bub was doing ok and to check measurements. All was still going perfectly well, although no water!!
I had the paediatrican come and talk to me about statistics. I told him i was not interested in the odds & that i would cross each hurdle as it happened. At no stage did i want to look at the negatives - for my own sanity i refused to believe that anything could, or would go wrong.
I was on complete bedrest & on Wednesday when i hit 26 weeks i started to relax slightly (not sure why, but think it had something to do with my pregnancy book at home stating that babies born at this gestation would generally be ok).
We did a tour around the NICU to see other babies that were around the same size as our unborn baby, just to give us an idea of how she would look if she was born at this stage.
Friday rolled around with no hiccups, although i was having a fair bit of back pain - i had not been to the toilet all week, so it was put down to constipation pains and i was given some medications to help. My mum and cousin spent the day with me & they were leaving late that afternoon to head home and my husband was supposed to be coming down. I don't know why, but i sensed that something was wrong & that my back pain was not constipation after i had been to the toilet and the pain had not eased, although as the pain was irregular etc the midwives still did not believe it was anything to worry about.
My mum & cousin left late arvo and i cried and cried - i think mum cried most of the way home. My husband decided that he was exhausted and that he didn't feel safe driving, so stayed home and was going to come down early in the morning (a 3.5-4 hour trip).
So i was all on my own. My back pain continued to worsen and at 2am my midwife called the doctor to come and check me out. They had huge trouble finding the babies heartbeat, so decided to bring the portable ultrasound machine in to have a look what was happening - alas, they could hardly even find the baby! Next option was for an internal (last resort as this increases the risk of infection hugely) and guess what the doctor saw......
A head!!! So at approx 2.20am we were wheeled to the delivery suite.
Monday 1 March 2010
The perfect pregnancy
In Aug 1999 my husband & I decided it was time to start a family. Why not....we had been married for a few years now, had bought a new house in 1998 & were financially in control. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant in just our 2nd month of trying.
At our first scan at just 8 weeks we got to see our tiny baby & see the heartbeat. No morning sickness at all, the only symptom I had was that I was so so tired all the time. Falling asleep on the couch after work each day became the norm.
At 12 weeks we had another scan & all was going perfectly to plan. 19 week scan revealed that we were having a little girl & so the perfect pregnancy continued. A friend was due a couple of days after me so it was great to be able to share our stories while we were going through much the same things.
Then, something went so terribly wrong - at just 25 weeks & 5 days, my waters ruptured completely .........
At our first scan at just 8 weeks we got to see our tiny baby & see the heartbeat. No morning sickness at all, the only symptom I had was that I was so so tired all the time. Falling asleep on the couch after work each day became the norm.
At 12 weeks we had another scan & all was going perfectly to plan. 19 week scan revealed that we were having a little girl & so the perfect pregnancy continued. A friend was due a couple of days after me so it was great to be able to share our stories while we were going through much the same things.
Then, something went so terribly wrong - at just 25 weeks & 5 days, my waters ruptured completely .........
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